Author Topic: So I'm Back?  (Read 653 times)

Offline Cannon

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So I'm Back?
« on: 27 July 2012, 02:25:46 AM »
Me coming back is like the original version of DX getting back together.... It makes everyone feel nostalgic and OLD, but I digress. Anyway Prax and I have been friends on Facebook for quite sometime and he messaged me late last night saying Adam was wondering about the marry girl that a banged.... Well a lot of stuff has happened since then and I will fill you all in.

So you all see that picture to the left of the screen where I look like a Jewish gangster, right?  Since that picture was taken I have lost quite a bit of weight and that picture I was around 330 or so and now I'm at 240. Now when I started losing weight I was close to 400lbs and it was because like many of you I was a fat wrestling fan who sat at home, acted like a mark, and was in an e-fed ( Cheap heat). But seriously, I left the whole forum thing because I got into school, started losing weight, and living my life.

So in living my life this brought an old girlfriend back into my life who was married (Adam's pants are now getting a little tight, perv).  She started hanging out with me, coming over my house, texting me, and thing like that. Now as things progressed she went out with me and some buddies for my birthday one night and we went out to have some drinks and dinner. We get sushi and go to a bar and I have a few beers and she has a couple Long Island Iced Teas ( she is like 100lbs and this get her wasted). Anyway, without me doing A THING she start rubbing my love muscle over my pants and things progress ( Adam.... Get some water... Cool down.. You to Prax).

As things progress one friend is standing at the bar yelling " WHAT ARE YOU DOING... SHE'S MARRIED". He keeps yelling this over and over. My other friend is egging this on as we kiss and pretty much dry hump at the bar ( I have no shame. I'm sober). So my friend who is egging this on has his girlfriend there and she is disgusted because I'm a homewrecker but fuck her. Next thing I know me and the married girl are booted from the bar and are in the parking lot and she is sloppy ass drunk and it is only 9pm!

Now as we are in the parking lot Married Girl pretty much passes out. My friend come out and we put her in my buddies back seat and this is where I could either be a creep and continue or help her..... SO what did I do (Adam and Prax are hoping that I keep going....). So I ask her if she needs anything and she replies with ..... WAIT FOR IT.... WAIT FOR IT....

"Grab my phone and call my husband."

So I grab her phone and call her husband, but what happens next will blow your mind.... She keeps saying "Josh, I will do the right thing a divorce Shawn and be with you." Remind you I'm Josh, her husband is Shawn and I'm on the phone with him! So I hang up and she continues this "I Love You" shit. So as this goes on for 20 minutes she alternates between throwing up and telling me this. I continually tell her to "Don't say that shit when Shawn gets here". My buddies think this is hilarious until she throws up in my friends car.

Now finally her husband shows up to get her and he is with HER MOM! He gets out and greets me and so does her mom and as he takes her I'm hoping she doesn't say she loves me or anything..... Thankfully she doesn't. So he takes her home and her mom leaves behind them and my buddies and I have a laugh over it and leave.

Two days later she comes to my house and gives me a book I left in her car. When she gets to my house she feels guilty about what happened and doesn't remember much and I won't tell her. She then tells me that night after she got home her car was broke into and the thief's took her wallet with a couple hundred in there and some other stuff as well. To top it off they broke a window to do it and it rained in her car! So I look at her and say....

"I bet that is the last time you ever cheat on your husband." 

I had her convinced we had sex for a couple weeks and she felt like shit... All that happened as you read was her rubbing my love muscle, dry humping, and making out. But the story doesn't end there.... We almost end up having sex another time ( Sorry Adam), but we didn't. Shortly after this close call her and her husband moved from Virginia ro California to work on their marriage . I later got her to admit they did this because of me ( God, I'm awesome).

Now why she was gone I found a girlfriend, been with her almost 2 years and we have a dog together. We are moving into a townhouse next week. I'm now a career man that works an 8-5 in an office with a cubicle everyday. I have one year left into getting my BS in Marketing and I'm not the Cannon I used too be. I'm much more subdue and that has been me in a nutshell since the "Married Girl" story.

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Offline Leonardo Lunchbox

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Re: So I'm Back?
« Reply #1 on: 27 July 2012, 04:13:49 AM »
Cannon's all growed up!


Offline Adampro123

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Re: So I'm Back?
« Reply #2 on: 27 July 2012, 06:21:56 AM »
That was like reading an erotica from the dollar store right when it started to get good she started throwing up. Haha! but it all ended well.

Good to see you're doing well now, and great to hear from you I'm also currently trying to lose weight by cutting calories what all did you do?



Offline Awesome

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Re: So I'm Back?
« Reply #3 on: 27 July 2012, 11:00:53 AM »
Welcome back.  :D

Good to hear that you are doing well. :)
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Offline RyPrax

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Re: So I'm Back?
« Reply #4 on: 27 July 2012, 03:41:43 PM »

One more post!

One more post!

One more post!

One more post!


Think I'll have a wank over these tomorrow.

Offline Cannon

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Re: So I'm Back?
« Reply #5 on: 28 July 2012, 06:29:56 PM »
That was like reading an erotica from the dollar store right when it started to get good she started throwing up. Haha! but it all ended well.

Good to see you're doing well now, and great to hear from you I'm also currently trying to lose weight by cutting calories what all did you do?

Cut calories, did a LOOOOT of blow.... Enough blow to make Jake the Snake jelly.

But seriously.. Cut calories, worked out like 5 days a week and used to cut back on my drinking. Drinking is empty calories and makes you want to eat pizza, chips, and all that shit. But the biggest help is dedication.... If you are dedicated you can do it.

Prax, one more post, eh? Here it is! But I will try and comeback a little more weigh in on stuff and stir shit up when I can!

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Offline chappers

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Re: So I'm Back?
« Reply #6 on: 29 August 2012, 10:19:54 PM »
Pfft typical Rock comeback this :Kane:

Offline RyPrax

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Re: So I'm Back?
« Reply #7 on: 30 August 2012, 04:43:20 AM »
I can't wait for him to come back in 4 months, call Adam a roodie poo or something and then go make a movie.


Think I'll have a wank over these tomorrow.

Offline Awesome

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Re: So I'm Back?
« Reply #8 on: 30 August 2012, 09:44:40 AM »
I can't wait for him to come back in 4 months, call Adam a roodie poo or something and then go make a movie.
With a cameo from J.D.

Purely so we could call it GI Doe.  :P
Quote from: CM Punk
Please, if you say ‘Because it’s your destiny’, I swear to jeebus I’m going to start drinking.